Stupid me.

So, I have not been doing anything at all that has been good for my health the last days. Nothing. no gym, quite a bit of alcohol and not very much sleep. I feel tired and moody. This even tho I have nothing to be moody or tired for… NOTHING at all.

I should be really happy. A lot of things are as far as I can see it going my way, and the only bad thing is that I’m feeling in bad shape, but that’s about it.

All is good with D, my brother is here, my friends are mostly happy, as well as my family, got a new job I’m starting in a bit more then a week.

So what my problem?

I have narrowed it down to the following:
1) I’m nervous about starting the new job. I always want to know everything the first day and then just GO, but this will be months of learning, and it makes me nervous. I know I can do the job. I’m just nervous about the start of it.
2) I’m in terrible shape. It makes me feel bad and ugly.

So I guess, tomorrow it is Monday, let’s get things back on track then.

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Lots of nonsense…

Im back. I took a break yesterday. From Life. I felt so sick and was half alive the whole day, and D happily said when we left the house just to get some food “Oh, this is not often, but i look much better then you!” and gave me a big grin. Great, thank you baby…  

I got some good news, but i dont want to jinx things, so i will write it here when i feel more sure. Hope that is ok.. However a bit overwhelmed and very happy. If you dont count the fact that i managed to get sick and still is feeling bad. Right after the neck got better, some bug got me. Whyyyyyy, oh why? 

So, that means no gym for me today, but i will get back as soon as i can. Last week was a failure, between sick, neck pain and interviews, i only got to the gym one time. ONE TIME. That wont make me fit. Back tomorrow if i take it slow today and just get well. 

In my homeland it has started to get  very cold and the autumn/winter has started for real. This is normally the time when i get very happy by being in the UK. Winter is not that cold here. Autumn is more like late summer. Today 18 degrees and looking lovely. ( to bad for me that im still stuck in bed) hopefully this winter wont be as cold as last, when it was actually snowing in beginning of April. In UK? This can not happen this year… it wont, will it?

Fitting-room panic… and how to move on.

Hmmm.. I dont know if you will attack me on Whats app ( the ones that have me there) or even in comments… but im going to write it anyway.

For those that remember, around a week ago i wrote that i felt that i got somewhere with the gym and that i started feeling stronger and a bit more fit. This is before i,  a bit in panic, needed to go into a fitting room before a interview and change my outfit and also try on some stuff. That ruined my feeling of being on the way and since then i have been struggling with feeling good about gym or general health. “what does it matter? in the fitting room i look like shit anyway, my thighs are bigger then ever and also most probably so is my tummy” Now, i know there is many logical reasons why i should not feel this way, and also many wrong thoughts that made me end up there, but hey, this is the way it is right now.

So, never quit and never give up.

For those who knows me from a work perspective, knows that i dont EVER give up, i work very very hard, and always push thru. Always. Even when i feel like there is no chance to reach the targets, or when the team are not working out, when the store is literally raining into, then i DONT give up. And i have a Cv to show for it. And im very happy with that, as well as im even a bit proud over it.

BUT.

That damn fitting-room, it really made me feel down about myself. So now i will get over that, and the solution is to not go into a fitting-room in a long time (not the best way, i know, but dont come with,face your fears bs, please) and go to the gym. Work my ass off literally.

Wish me luck. #abitsadaboutthatfittingroom

Victory!

Waking up, and no pain in the neck! Victory for me.

Today, hitting the gym. My lazy ( stupid neck ) ass have not been there enough this week so i will need to get myself together today, and sweat some fat off. Good news for my big ass is that when D got home, he was not in the mood for eating take out ( or eating at all) so we did not order any fatty indian or thai, so at least i spared myself that. 

Now another hour or so with the SWOT. Happy days. 

SWOT

Today i will not go to the gym, today i will go down to town and do a SWOT for a interview on Saturday. If i can have that written and done by tomorrow then i dont need to worry about that at all tomorrow, but just be off and have a massive workout, as well as my neck gets to rest for another day.

Yesterday i did the exercises for the neck that i googled, and this morning it felt a lot better. Still not good enough, so i still had to take some painkillers, but at least i could sleep. So, thats good news! Also, yesterday i went out for a fast walk around a football field, so that at least count for something…

Ok, now… try to get up and out. I get lazy when D is working from home… even when he is sitting in the other room working, it is still so much nicer to be at home and around when he is here…

 

Stuck.

Here I am. Bored as hell, and stuck in bed due to my really bad neck this morning. What has happened? I NEVER used to have problems like this, and boom the last two weeks has been up and down horrible. I have googled and found some exercises for the neck, so now I will look like a crazy frog trying to fix this the next hour. Wish me luck.

The Johnossi people where not bad last night, however when the audience started screaming for a encore in Swedish, it was pretty obvious that this was a gig for Swedes in London liking a Swedish band playing in London. But hey, was nice and I heard my language everywhere. Not bad for a Monday night.

So, D is telling me not to go to the gym today, due to my bad neck. I really want to go… Can’t be that bad, if I take it careful… What should I do? Ah, and also, we went to Mc Donald’s after the concert, so I really feel bad… Need-to-go-to-the-gym?

Another Monday…

..and hey, It isnt that bad is it?

London is not showing itself from the best side today, nor is my neck working with me, but more like against me. Hurting like hell, and i decided to do some stretching instead of going to the gym in the morning. But even if it is not the best morning in terms of health im still looking forward to this week. Should be good. 

After a interview down in Chelsea, I will have a late lunch with M, and then get straight to the gym. Only way for me to not put my ass in the sofa and not get up, is to not give myself the chance to do that. So i will pack my big bag with the gym gear and take it with me across town, and then back again…

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After that im going to a gig with D and his colleague in Angel, having a look at a Swedish band that apparently is big back home, but i hardly have heard a word about… I guess that means that i have been here in the UK a while now… #not-a-clue-whats-big-at-home. Johnossi. Thats the name. However, I checked them out on Youtube and not bad, so hey, could be good…

Yesterday me and D were in Primrose Hill, if you find yourself in London, and not knowing where to go ( that dont happen a lot, i know, but still) go up and have a look at the view at Primrose Hill, touristy but still a great place to just look out over London. Keep it in mind. 

Ok, have a great Monday, and i check in with you later!